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I got some great words today, so thought I'd use two groups of them. Let's see what Kacy and Dean get into today...
First section words:
rain
warble
cellulose
infinity
cheddar
Second section words:
late
storm
cook
converse
mad
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Cold rain pounds against the kitchen window. A perfect fit to my mood. I stare into the refrigerator, my stomach grumbling and my mind a blur. I have no idea how I should be feeling after yesterday. Devastated is a bit much. For crying out loud, Dean and I have only been dating two months. But still, helping the guy you're dating pack, then waving at his beat up Jeep Cherokee as it heads to a state eight and a half hours away will leave a girl in search of something to accommodate her emotional eating habit.
But no. I am not going to turn into a dad-gum mope. Dean is gone, and life goes on. So this morning I got up, cleaned my room like a woman possessed, and went to the gym.
Which is how I know I must be losing it.
I open the bin in the bottom of the fridge. My roommate always keeps vegetables in the fridge. A bag of celery stares back at me. I grab it and can't help the grimace on my face. It's like eating cellulose covered in cardboard. Which maybe could be helpful. Celery is the one food that actually makes me want to starve myself. I throw the celery back in and slam the refrigerator door.
What I really want is a plate of nachos covered in cheddar cheese.
And to know where I stand with this man I said goodbye to yesterday.
Is he my boyfriend? We still haven’t said those words, and of course I have the timidity of a mouse and refuse to call him that until he calls me his girlfriend. The unknown grates against my type-A brain. I want it all figured out - all of life, from here to infinity. I want the happy ending where Dean and I get married and drive off in a horse drawn carriage while birds warble in the sky above us like in a Disney movie.
Enough of this.
I rummage through the pantry and end up eating scrambled eggs and cottage cheese, while my brain concocts a plan. No moping. No living for the phone to ring. I will be a woman with goals, separate from Dean, because I cannot control us. But I can control my life. I grab an old journal, ideas and dreams coming together in bullet points.
Travel to Italy
Learn karate
Take a painting class
Save up enough money for a new car
My list grows and energy surges through me, despite my workout and the rain that continues to pound against the roof. I turn on a movie, a woman reborn. And I keep my phone nearby, just in case Dean calls or texts later.
******
11.15 pm
Hey lady, it's late I know.You still up?
Yep. How are you?
Had to unload stuff in the pouring rain.
Less than ideal.
Storming here, too. I'm surprised you
haven't crashed already.
Too wired. I got my internet
hooked up today so am wasting time.
Online shopping for new Converse
or something?
They’re called Chuck Taylors Kace. ;)
We're gonna have to work
on your coolness.
I'm insulted. I spent all day today
practicing Mario Kart and reciting
Star Wars quotes. Cool enough for you?
Cooler than me. I spent the day
unpacking like a mad man. Still
need to go to the store tomorrow
so I actually have something to cook.
No take out in Columbus? Weird city...
I gotta save my money.
Gambling habit?
Girlfriend.
She sounds high maintenance. Does she
demand diamonds and fancy dinners?
Ha - nope. Easiest going girl ever.
I thought you were dating me?
You put up with me moving away.
I think you qualify as low maintenance.
Not that i mind maintaining you
or anything.
Is that why you're saving money? To put in
a maintenance fund in case this girlfriend
of yours gets out of control?....
Nope. I wanna save money so I can
fly her up to see me over Valentine's
weekend. Think she can pull herself
away from Mario Kart long enough
to do that?
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