Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Disney Sorority House

Well, we've done the boys. And the bad guys. So, of course, today's 5 word story had to be about the Disney Princesses.

(lovely ladies)
Today's words are:


There were a million directions this could have gone, but of course, the girls are all sorority sisters. Here's where the words took me:


Ariel’s bangs stuck to her sweat, a fiery blaze of hair clinging to her forehead.

“Where’ve you been?” Aurora asked her.

“Had to log some time at the gym,” Ariel said. “It was leg day.” She took a swig of her water bottle. “You look like you pricked your finger on something. Bad day?”

Aurora sank onto her bed, the floral comforter billowing up around her. “I had lunch with my dad. What do you do with a guy you haven’t heard from in 16 years who all of a sudden wants you back in his life?”

Ariel sank down on the bed perpendicular to Aurora, and threw her legs across her friend;s. “I don’t know, Ro. My dad and I have always been close.”

Aurora sighed. “And he says the years away were for my good.” She fingered the long braid lying over her shoulder. “Parents are so weird.”

Laughter drifted up the stairs. Ariel grabbed Ro’s hand and pulled her to her feet. “Come in,” she said. “Everyone’s home.”

They clamored downstairs to the kitchen. Cinderella was pouring glasses of milk and the other girls stood crowded around the table.

“Ro,” Jasmine said, “This cake your aunts made is delicious.” She swallowed the huge piece in her mouth. “I swear, they are magic or something.”

Aurora smiled. “They sent catnip for Rajah, too” she said. Then she turned to Belle, whose nose was stuck in a book. “Take a break, Belle-a-roo. No books tonight.”

Belle glanced up, her brows furrowed. “I’m reading in my psych book and I swear, this is my dad. I think he’s schizophrenic.” She closed her book. “We should eat this cake before Rapunzel gets home.”

“Why?” Jasmine asked.

“Because it will remind her of birthdays, and you know how she gets.”

Jasmine nodded knowingly and took another bite of cake. “So what are we doing this weekend?”

“Eric and I are going sailing,” Ariel said.

“Fun,” Cinderella said. “You got a fancy date this weekend too, Belle?”

“No,” Belle said with a sigh. “Beast can’t behave at a nice restaurant. We’ll probably just stay in. He hates leaving the house.”

“Boys are weird,” Aurora said. “Phillip totally went off on this chick who was being such a witch today.” She took a bite of cake. “I thought he was like, going to drive a knife into her or something. What about you, Ella? Any big plans?”

“Shoe shopping,” Cinderella said with a shy smile. She shivered and went to the thermostat. “Geez, Elsa, it’s freezing in here.” She bumped the thermostat up. “What are you, menopausal or something?”

Elsa strode out of her bedroom. “Would you let it go already? Put on a sweater.”

Cinderella dipped her head.

"Oh don't be so snarky," said Ariel. She looked at Cinderella, who still stood motionless, then whispered to Belle. "She's such a pushover."

Belle giggled.

Before Elsa could reply, Rapunzel burst through the door. With a growl, she sagged into the couch. The girls are shared a glance. Jasmine sank down beside Rapunzel. “Elle, what’s wrong?”

Rapunzel sighed. “Life seems so monotonous,” she said. “It’s like I fill my time with all this stuff, like I'm just waiting for life to begin.”

Jasmine took a few breaths, digesting Rapunzel’s words. Then she gave her a hug. “Oh sweetie, cheer up. You’re in college now. It’s a whole new world out there.”

"Yes," Aurora said. "Life can change in a second. All your dreams could come true," she said.

Ariel turned to Belle and rolled her eyes. "My gosh, she's so naive. You'd think she was raised in a barn or something."

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

A Gathering of Evil

When bad is awesome
Ya'll, my friend Cheyenne just keeps churning out genius. Last week she inspired the now famous (to a handful of people) Frat Castle story. I honestly wondered if 5 Word Wednesday was worth doing anymore after Frat Castle, because that story cannot be topped.

But we strive forward.

Today Cheyenne gave me:


And told me to write about all the Disney villains at a retreat/meeting of evil.

*insert squeal of delight*

So here we go:



Maleficent clanged her fist on the table. "This session of Maniacal Entities Acting Naughty will begin."

She plucked her to-do list from her crow's beak. "This month's dilemma: Spring is here. Days are warmer. People are going outside in vast numbers, getting exposed to sunshine. They're happier. It's disgusting. What are we going to do?"

Gaston leaned back in his chair and propped his boots up on the table. "Easy," he said. "We find the hairy ones and kill them."

"Agreed!" Cruella fist pumped the air. "Death to the hairy ones!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, please," cooed Scar. "Not all hairy mammals are bad."

"Just the ones lacking messed up faces," mumbled Jafar with a grin.

Scar snarled. "It's a birthmark."

Jafar coiled his mustache between his fingers and raised an eyebrow. "One your parents named you for?"

Scar mumbled something under his breath and sank down in his chair.

"It's the crocodiles," Hook said. "They come out in droves in warmer weather. I think I should lead a brigade to eliminate them."

"Oh, hell," said Hades, "I'll be wearing a parka when that happens. You'd wet your pants at the sight of a manatee, much less a crocodile."

"And it's those poor unfortunate humans who are at fault," huffed Ursula from her aquatic chair at the end of the table. "Not water animals."

"Oh hush it, Fish Fry," Scar said. "Summer is coming. We need to be prepared. How can we make people unhappy?"

"We should ask Elsa to join us," Jafar mused. "Then she could make it winter all the time. People hate winter. It makes them depressed and cranky. They get dry skin and their hair looks bad. This is what we want! Winter all the time!"

"Elsa won't join us of her own free will," Maleficent said. "We'll need to kidnap her."

Silence fell over the room. Kidnap Elsa? That would require a great feat of evil.

"Well," a voice spoke up. "I'm Prince Hans from the Seven Isles, and as I am the most striking member of the team, I'll lure her in with my charm."

Cruella scowled. "You'll have as much success at that as Iago and Maleficent's crow making a lovechild." She turned to Hades. "You're the only one with the gumption to pull this off. What's your idea?"

Hades drummed his fingers on the table. "We need a fall guy," he said. "Someone to blame this on if all goes bad." He looked at Scar. "What about that kid down the street? What's his name? Sid?"

Scar shook his head. "He got sent to juvy for setting toys on fire."

Hades chuckled. "Such a good kid." He turned to Ursula. "What about Mother Gothel?"

"Are you kidding?" Ursula said. "She's doing ten years at Rikers island for abducting kids."

Hades furrowed his brows. "Darla?"

Maleficent shook her head. "Getting her braces taken off. I'm fish sitting for her."

Hades glanced at the goldfish, bobbing belly up in the water. "What we need," he said, "is a prince. Not you-" he cut off Hans mid protest. "She knows who you are."

"I don't think it's going to work," said Scar. "It's so hard to get a female to believe what you want them to."

"It'll be easy," Maleficent said. "In today's age, cyber stalkers are everywhere. You could track down a girl even if she lived in the middle of the woods under an alias. Give the guy boyish good looks and a song, and by the end of two minutes of a dream-like state, they think they're in love."

Hades grinned. "Perfect. We get Elsa. We make it snow. Winter will bring out the worst in everyone."

"But who will we get to kidnap a prince?" wondered Scar."That's just abominable."

Hades grinned. "We'll get the Underminer. Nothing is beneath him."

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Frat castle

Frat Castle
I mean, ya'll, my friend Cheyenne is amazing. So today for my 5 word challenge I asked for a list of 5 random words and then asked people to tell me who to write about. So Cheyenne gave me this list:


And then told me to write about all the Disney princes in a Frat Castle.

Mind. Blown.

Best prompt EVER. So here we go...


These chips are mine. Do not eat them - Prince Charming. 

Kristoff crumpled the post-it note and tossed it aside. "What a douche," he said.

"Charming again?" Flynn asked.

"What's with that guy?" Kristoff asked. "He doesn't even go by a first name, just a title. He thinks he's all that cause his dad's a big shot."

Flynn rifled through the fridge and pulled out some carrots. "Here, go feed your pet. And you didn't hear it from me, but Phillip's complained to the house mom about him."

"Aw man." Kristoff grabbed the carrots and stalked off.

Flynn rummaged through the fridge. All this food, and nothing to eat. Maybe he could go to the frat house next door and steal something. He closed the door and turned, ramming his toe into an ice chest on the floor. What the heck? He lifted the lid and four live lobsters stared up at him. He picked one up.

"Hey!" Eric's voice rang out across the room. "Put down the lobster!"

Eric jumped over the coffee table and ran to Flynn, then ripped the crustacean from his hand.

"Geez man," Eric said. "It could be someone Ariel knows. You know I'm already out with her 'cause we went to that crawfish boil last week!"

Aladdin burst out laughing. "Duuuude, you are so in the dog house for that one!"

Eric clapped Aladdin on the back of the head. "Whatever man. Your woman gives you a hard time, too. She's always on your back about how you dress."

Aladdin looked down at his holey jeans and raggedy tshirt. Then he looked up and quirked an eyebrow. "Yeah, but I don't mind. My woman wears those cute shirts that show her belly button all the time."

Eric smirked. "Whatever bro. My woman can't even keep her shirt on. Says that many layers is superfluous. She's all the time walking around in her bikini top."

The door slammed open and Beast stalked in. He walked to the counter and with one swipe, knocked everything off.

"Duuuuude, what's got you in such a rage?" Aladdin asked.

"Stupid chemistry," Beast said. "I flunked my test." He sank into the couch with a huff. "I'm so sick of school, man."

"Yeah, but soon you'll be out," Phillip said. "And then you can get a job."

"I don't want a job!" Beast yelled. "I want adventure!"

"In the great wide somewhere?" snickered Phillip. "Man, you stole that line from Belle. Aurora and her are roommates. Belle tells her everything. And stop using my razor man, you clog it up with that mane of yours."

Beast growled and flipped on the Xbox.

Phillip glanced up at Eric. "Hey man, can I borrow your rowboat? Me and Aurora got a hot date this weekend."

Eric raised an eyebrow. "That girl's got it for you bad, huh?"

Phillip grinned. "She texted me this morning. Said she had a dream about me last night." He cocked his head. "You and Ariel are pretty serious by now, right?"

Eric sighed. "Yeah. She's getting clingy. Keeps saying she wants to be part of my world and crap. And you know she comes from the wrong side of the tracks. Her dad's gonna flip his lid when he finds out we're dating."

Phillip shrugged. "Who knows man, he might let her go and give his approval."

Eric ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know. That kind of stuff only happens in fairy tales."

Let's get personal

Wizards at Work

So today for 5 Word Wednesday I let people give me words and someone to write about. So my lovely coworker Cheyenne gave me these 5 words...

parking spot

...and told me to write about our mutual friend, Deanna. I mean really, this is child's play, because Deanna practically is a wizard. Her creativity knows no bounds. She is crazy talented. And I affectionately call her the Machine Whisperer, because her very presence forces all printers, computers, etc into submission. She is a gem. So here's a tale about Deanna.

Deanna whipped her car into the parking spot, then stared up at the sign in front of her. Wizards not welcome, it read.

Humph, huffed Deanna. We'll see about that.

She made her way to the tall building in front of her, the name - World Crises Headquarters - blazing across the front. Men in suits rushed all over the parking lot, but she continued unruffled, her flip flops flipping and flopping over the pavement, her painted toenails glistening in the sunshine.

The lobby fell silent as soon as she entered. Then secretaries and junior level workers buzzed in hushed, reverent tones. "She's here," they whispered.

Deanna cast a glance around the room. The paint was peeling off the walls, and a dead ficus tree sat crumpled in a corner, its leaves brown and strewn on the floor in front of it.

A man in a blue blazer stepped out to greet her. "Mrs. Carpenter," he said. "Do you need anything? Some coffee perhaps?"

"No, thank you," she replied with a gracious smile. "I eat accomplishment each morning with skim milk and a side of perfection. I don't do coffee."

She moved past him and climbed to the top floor on the spiraling staircase. The entire building came to a stop. Every eye turned to her. 

Deanna whispered words, and her essence filled the office building like a fog. Everything responded to her magic. Computers that had been sluggish zipped to life. Fax machines on the fritz mellowed out. Copiers churned out papers crisp and perfect. And from a conference room down the hall, creativity exploded in the minds of the junior marketing staff.

She descended once again to the lobby. The ficus tree in the corner now pushed its bright green leaves across half the room and had grown tall enough to rest against the vaulted ceiling. 

Deanna smiled. All in a hard day's work, she thought. Now, off to get a burger and run to Target. Then I'll squeeze in curing cancer before lunch.